Hallelujah
by Dream Dweller
Summary: Sonfic. Some very slight content that could be taken as BDSM, but only if you try really hard.


_A/N: This one's for Redaura who gave me the go ahead (and I confess the guts) to write this down!_

__________________________

_I've heard there was_

_A secret chord_

_That David played, and_

_It pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care_

_For music, do you?_

Not that your Saints or Gods mean anything to me. They don't touch me here anymore than anything else from your world. You were the only thing from Above Ground that ever did touch me in anyway, and I learned what a mistake that was. I didn't matter what songs I sung to you, you choose never to see what it was I was really saying. I meant it when I said that as the world fell down I would be there for you, but you didn't see me. Not right away. Not until you wanted to.

_It goes like this:_

_The fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall, the major lift_

_The baffled king_

_Composing Hallelujah _

Never one of mine, but it seemed appropriate. Every so often a mortal is in tune with my realm and they hit the right chord, so to speak.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

_Your faith was strong_

_But you needed proof_

And I gave you proof. All the proof you ever asked for. Proof that dreams were real, and then, like a spoiled, ungrateful child you threw it back at me, denying your dreams, denying love when I could have given you everything. If only you'd been willing.

_You saw her bathing_

_On the roof_

_Her beauty and the_

_Moonlight overthrew you_

That was much later, when you were much older. Your long-term boyfriend, Mr Athletic Typically Normal, had left you for some other, who could have only paled in comparison to you but mortals have always been fools. You retreated to the apartment roof, taking solace in the stars and I could have wept that you hadn't completely forgotten magic after all, but bathed in moonlight and tears I couldn't keep my distance any more, whether you wanted me or not. Mortals are not the only fools it seems. 

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne_

_And she cut your hair_

_And from your lips_

_She drew the Hallelujah _

It seemed you'd grown up in more ways than one, since the night you refused me and broke me throne, learned some things that I had hoped to teach you, but that night it hadn't mattered. Nothing had. Only the feel of you coming to me after so long, like sight to one who is blind, and even when you cropped my hair short, I told myself that hair grows (and it did) and continued to worship you with lips, both is kisses and whispered words, and I didn't notice my throne was cracking once again.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

_Maybe I've been here before_

_I know this room_

_I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone_

_Before I knew you_

It was strange to finally walk in the places I'd only ever seen from a distance, to share your home with you. I had known loneliness before a naive girl had made a wish, I knew it again when a child threw her dreams away, and it came a third time, when a woman found scars and skilfully re-opened them.

_I've seen your flag_

_On the marble arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and_

_It's a broken Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

And truer words were never spoken. You conquered me, but neither of us was triumphant. We were a lot of things in the brief, flickering flame in which we lived, but never, I think, triumphant.

_There was a time_

_You let me know_

_What's really going on below_

_But now you never show_

_It to me, do you?_

You shared everything with me for the first few months, but it didn't last long. How soon before it lost its sparkle? Before long you were moving away again, shutting me out, and subtly driving the knife in deeper. It seems we all loose our charms in the end.

_I remember when_

_I moved in, you_

_Your holy dark_

_Was moving too_

_And every breath we drew_

_Was Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah _

Oh don't get me wrong. I loved you in the past, I loved you in that time we had together, perhaps more completely and thoroughly than I have since, and I love you now. Lord what fools these mortals be! One of my kind said that, but he neglected to mention how foolish we could be as well. I love you and it's killing me.

_Maybe there's a God above_

_And all I ever_

_Learned from love_

_Was how to shoot_

_At someone_

_Who outdrew you_

If there is a God what games he must play with us, and how he must enjoy it. We must amuse him so with our bumbling, pathetic attempts at this thing called love. They say if you burn your fingers once you never touch the flame again. I touched it twice and want it still, but there's less misery in solitude.

_It's not a cry_

_You can hear at night_

_It's not somebody_

_Who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and_

_It's a broken Hallelujah _

An Hallelujah that echoes in these halls sometimes, when I pace the castle at night. I still feel as though I am waiting for something, but what it is, I cannot say.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_


End file.
